Detox, Meditation, and Apple Skoal....

So, the blog has followed suit of most of my other interests in life. I get excited about it and can't stop thinking about it or talking about it and after two entries I took a two month hiatus from writing. Typical. Which leads me to the topic of my latest endeavor that I have also had an on and off relationship with over the last ten years of my life: living mindfully. It started again when I read the book by Dr. Henry Emmons, The Chemistry of Joy. I got on a health kick, started taking a truck load of vitamins to combat incessant and usually anxious thoughts. I read about which vitamins help ease the suffering of "fear" or "fire" type personalities and even got suckered into buying the gold card at GNC on my monthly vitamin purchasing sprees. "Maybe I won't need to pop Celexa and Adderall everyday with the help of a natural supplement regimen and of course, mindfulness", I thought. Which led to the discovery of a class I became obsessed with taking: Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction taught through the University of Minnesota's Center for Spirituality and Healing. I roped my co-worker into this with me and wrote a proposal to get the course paid for and the journey to nirvana began just like that.
After the first class and having to bite the inside of my cheeks like a five year old to keep from laughing at the peaceful sound of the bells, I decided I was going to make a commitment to the class and my overall health and well-being. This just also happened to coincide with the registration for a June marathon which I recently began training for. Perfect timing. I am going to detox and get rid of the build up of cheetos, Dr. Pepper, Coors Lite and greasy pizza in my system. Again, I used the GNC gold card to purchase a 7-day detox kit with the intention of purifying my system at the start of my new meditation regimen and marathon training.
Day One of Detox: What the hell was I supposed to eat? Caffeine was banned, so no morning coffee. I ate oatmeal, which I don't even know if it was legit, but it was the only semi-healthy thing in my cupboard. I downed my detox vitamins and couldn't resist a half-caf coffee on my way to work. I deprived myself of my morning chew on the drive and had to jam out to MPR with my pitiful cup of "coffee". By 9 am I was crabby and wanting a Diet Coke. By noon I gave in and drank it, ate whatever I felt like and couldn't wait to put a big wad of apple Skoal in my lip on the way home. That was the end of detox. I have zero will power.
On the other hand, the meditation is going better. There have been a few bumps in the road, including a few laughing outbursts during awkward yoga in class and mimicking the use of words our instructor uses frequently: moist, as in..."notice how your hands feel, they might be warm, or dry, or moist"....blowhole, as in..."now if you like, imagine a hole in the top of your head like a blowhole in a whale and breathing fresh breath and air throughout your body". Sometimes its hard to focus in the class and I find lots of things funny, but overall, I am making a solid attempt to incorporate the strategies we have learned. In the meantime, I am of course, still popping the anti-anxiety pills and the stimulants as well as eating basically whatever I feel like....but balancing it out with multi-vitamins, fish oils, and breathing through my blowhole. Enlightenment here we come.